Archive for ‘rants’

June 8, 2017

ID Photo Update.

OMG.

Check out the now and before ID photos. Photo on the right was taken in 2015.

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This is by far the ugliest id photo ever. Its bad enough that I am not a photogenic person, it makes it worse when I am FAT. With double chins and all its glory! 😭😭😭

Have I mentioned how I hate taking ID photos??!! See below is a photo I took on 21 May, about 18 days ago, and I don’t think I look or feel any different now than I did at that time. But see the big difference??

That’s why I hate ID photos! they don’t allow you to smile, and you have to stare straight like you’re taking a mugshot! Urghh.. it’s frustrating. I have never been forced to use a photo I dislike on IDs, but in NZ visa applications, it is a requirement that photos should used should be taken within 6 months of the application. 6 months!! How much difference can a person look in 2 years? *COUGH COUGH.. and I only look different cos I gained weight and had make up on for the previous photo!

Oh well, guess I am stuck with this for now. I seriously need to start doing something about my weight but I can’t seem to find the motivation for it. HELP!!!

May 21, 2017

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Winter. #bbrrrr

It’s 13 degree Celsius outside, it’s been a while that I have felt cold like this. I am loving the weather, even though it tends to get really chilly and I feel like I have to wear thick clothing all the time. But truth be told, its really better than a 40 degrees all year summer time.

I haven’t been writing much lately, I feel awful about it because I love keeping memories and writing about what goes on in my life. It’s just been so overwhelming lately that I always find myself starting an entry, and then don’t actually end up finishing my drafts. By the time I get to them, I feel like I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say and all the emotions that were felt at the point when I started those entries. Urgghh…

Anyway, besides the change of season and weather, I am also facing a change in career and life in general. I haven’t felt “happy” in a while. I mean, I’ve had moments of joy, but I tend fall back into that deep cave of mine where I hide all my true feelings and all that feeling and emotions eat me up little by little.

I have told myself many times, that I need to be more “positive”. To learn to look at the bright side of things and not always try to expect the worst-case scenario. Today in church, the message was about living by faith, and not in anger. It really is God telling me to live by faith, to trust in Him even when trials in life are so hard to deal with. I think “Trust” is a word that I feel I am able to do, but also at the same time struggle with.

Ok, enough about my rants and troubles. I told myself I needed to stay positive. So it should start now. Things to look forward to in the near future: the end of the mid term exams, The Shack movie! And… the end of my diploma! So that’s something to look forward to ^_^

March 29, 2017

Thy will be done #onrepeat

I’m so confused
I know I heard You loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of Your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done

I know You’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know You think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all Your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that You’re God
And I am not
So..

Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know You see me
I know You hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store
I know You hear me
I know You see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness You have in store

Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done

I know You see me
I know You hear me, Lord

A song by Hillary Scott & The Scott Family.

As my niece Danica would say, “Omaira!” (her version of OMG)

This song just bursts out what my heart is feeling and what my brain cannot express in words because of the stress I’ve gone through lately. So much so that I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and feel like giving up this life, this world where everything is a rat race and we have to keep working hard and always be at the top and ahead of everyone else.

Being average is not acceptable, being a simple person with simple lives just means you are not ambitious, you are lazy, etc etc. Sigh… and if you settle with simplicity, then you don’t get the luxury and earn a lot of money like the rest of the world.

Whatever…

 

March 3, 2017

Mid Terms Done. 

Friyay! Mid Terms is over! So this hurdle is done for now. Just 4 more weeks to go before the next exam comes around. 😏

So just as a random post while I’m waiting around for someone to finish work so we can go for dinner, let me introduce you to my pencil case. Yupp, this take away clear container is my pencil case. Especially used for exam season. Why? Because its clear and transparent you can see the contents inside and so I won’t have to be accused of trying or attempting to cheat during exams. (Not that I ever would do that of course) Just that I once had some invigilator asked me to take my pencil away because it was not allowed in the examination room. And for obvious reasons as well I guess. So this was my solution for preventing all my pens from rolling off the table. Not to mention, as you can see from my collection of pens, I can never have too much pen.😁😁😁

And oh, you see that green gadget on top of that pen container? That’s the best liquid paper out there in the market. It’s the Paper Mate brand of correcter and this bugger costs at least 7 NZD per thingy. And my classmates have the decency to always borrow it from me and expect me not to mind??? Helloooo??!! This thing is expensive!!! I was this close in attempting to tell the invigilator that if anyone wants to borrow my stationery during exam, they should just tell them NO. But then just before the exam, I saw my Korean classmate brought her own little green paper mate corrector so I said to myself, “good girl, she finally had some sense to buy her own pen corrector!”

And then, I spoke too soon. Around 2 hours into the exam, she raised her hand and asked the invigilator if she could borrow my corrector because hers just ran out. 😳 Of course I was fuming inside 😡😡😡 but I just had to shrug it off because what else can you do right? I hate to be mean but I also don’t like being taken advantage of. Just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I am ok with it. Duuhh!!! That thing cost money! Go get your own extra corrector girl!!!! 😠

Ok that’s enough ranting for now. I need to go think about what I’d like to eat to celebrate this milestone.😋

May 25, 2015

Breakfast is Served. #Mondays #dietfood #unhappy

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Chilli beef and beans, hard boiled egg, cucumbers and hot Milo.

And you wish this was only worth 250 calories. 😒

Did I mention that I can’t seem to fit into even my garterized pants anymore?? Ugh.

May 9, 2015

Glomp. #ihatethisword #wordoftheday #crazyexroomie

Glomp 

v, to glomp 
NOT sexual, it is the action of one person lovingly (and dramatically) attacking another with a hug. 

A glomp is often preadatory and lies somewhere in the grey area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone. 

The term is used extesively in anime culture, as well as online in text form (anime because many anime characters do this often, and online because it is short and descriptive).

Right. I totally got that. But I think this “attack” would be better received depending on mutual relationship level of the recipient and the “attacker” of the glomp.

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And just when I am about to check on the meaning of that word in urbandictionary.com, they gave me another word which I soooooooo could use right now. I’d like to use some of those Verbal Punches on someone!! Urrgghhh!!!!

For an introvert like me who don’t trust people easily and also loses trust easily, not to mention, physical touch is the least of my love language, glomps just won’t fly buddy. So please, F-off.

April 14, 2015

Pain in the Ears.

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This beastly machine has been giving me sleepless nights the past 2 weeks now. IT IS ANNOYING.

I don’t understand why do they start all that wrecking and hammering in the wee hours of the morning? They do not fail to wake me up everytime starting at 3am!! Uuurrgghhhhh

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I wish I could file a complaint but seeing how inefficient MegaWorld is even with handling my unit transfer request, I highly doubt anything could be done with this annoyance.

March 14, 2014

The one I used to know. 😔

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What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that he’s a stranger.

It’s rather sad to know that sometimes lies are so much easier to accept than who you really are.

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March 14, 2014

Alone. Alone. People. Alone.

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One can be surrounded by people but still feel alone amidst the ocean of crowd.

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March 8, 2014

Its the “staying indoors” kind of Saturday. #lazy #emo #sad

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Catching up on some Switched at Birth Season 3 drama series. Initially had another Binondo Food Trip planned in my calendar but that didn’t happen. I also thought of going to Lucky China Town just to watch a movie and go on a solo food trip but I got lazy because I had to wait for the laundry lady to come pick up my laundry. Which they only did 3 hours after I called them! Grrr

So I ended up just staying in. Might even call food delivery service. Screw calorie counting for the day.

I also got depressed after hearing news from Twitter and all over Facebook about how a Malaysian Plane gone missing. The MH370 was bound for Beijing from Kuala Lumpur and lost contact with the air traffic control. Last I heard, it actually crashed into the South China Sea. Praying that there will be survivors 🙏😢

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