Archive for ‘Prayer’

May 20, 2015

Bless me! 🙏

1Chronicles 4:10 NIV

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

Heavenly Father, may You also grant my similar request. In Jesus name, Amen!

May 13, 2015

My prayer today.

Psalm 119:33-37 NIV

Teach me, Lord , the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end. 

Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart.

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.

Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.

Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

March 25, 2015

A time to Speak and a time to Hate?


Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7-8 NIV

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:   a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,   a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace


This verse was going through my head as I reflect on what happened today. The confrontation I had to go through with my annoying roommate. It was definitely a time I wanted to speak out and no longer be silent. It was a time I could no longer love but just feel hate. 😥

It was not something I wanted to happen the way it did. I was hoping I was calmer, talked this issue over dinner with food before us. But she robbed me of that choice when she made her own decision without consulting me that she’d rather talk to me over email instead of seeing each other face to face.

Anyway, I feel very bad about how it happened. I’m sorry God for how I behaved, how I reacted and how unpleasant of a person I am. 😦

Lord, You know me better than I know myself. Forgive me Lord, I didn’t intend to harm her, I was just so frustrated that I was being accused, judged and misunderstood. And I know she feels exactly the same way as I do. But how can I help it if we are two complete opposites? How can I deal with someone who can’t accept me for who I am and won’t take NO for an answer?

Father I pray things will get better. I pray that she will not harbor ill feelings and will eventually forgive me too. I pray God that You will lead her and guide her to her calling. And may she grow up and mature mentally and spiritually. Be with her Lord, guide her and remove every deception, lie and confusion that the devil tries to place in her mind and thoughts, and may she find her true identity in You God.

In Jesus’ powerful name I pray, Amen.

January 30, 2015

The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard.

Matthew 20:1-16

Just reading this passage reminds me how hard it is to accept the fact that some of us will indeed experience “unfairness”.

I mean, yes, even if I do not follow Jesus most of my life, but as long as I do, just before I die, I still get to go to heaven and be with God. At least, it sort of is whats portrayed at the end of the scene in God’s not Dead movie when the guy got hit by a car.

I guess this is also evident in life where even as Christians, we feel like we are always in the inferior, getting bullied all the time, or the bad people gets all the blessing and all. Yea, life is unfair sometimes but again I remember the line in God’s Not Dead movie, that the devil lets you enjoy all the things in this world so you won’t have the need to look forward to heaven.

15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

God has every right to give or take as a pleases from my life. And yes, if He wishes to be generous to others even if they don’t deserve it, He calls the shots. He is the creator! He is God!

Sometimes I feel helpless. Like if God wanted to decide that I have a lousy life I have no choice but to accept that fact. And thats so pessimistic of me. How do I be “delighted” or “joyful” when thats not how I really feel inside? Yet somehow, living and conforming to the world has no meaning either..

Father in heaven, sorry I sometimes doubt You, or feel that its unfair that I don’t get a better life or blessing. In fact, I don’t deserve it, and even though other people don’t deserve it too, please help me to see the good in that, to be happy for others and not to feel envious. Its not easy Lord, I am human after all.. hard not to feel what I feel inside. I do try not to entertain those thoughts but I can’t do it on my own. Help me Lord. I don’t want to go back to who I used to be, I want to please You, I want to live a life that You want me to live. To help others, to be good at something or skillful. I just feel like I don’t have that capability. I can’t even take care of myself, how could I take care of my mom? 😐

Help me Lord.. I don’t know what else to say….

in Jesus name, Amen.

January 8, 2015

Day 4: Honor God with your body. #prayerandfasting2015


It’s day 2 of water fast. I have experienced this feeling before and it sure isn’t easy. I can’t recall how many times I have had to brainwash my mind telling myself to focus on Jesus and not on my growling stomach or my weak body or my moodiness. I wish it was as easy as they say in the books, “be excited about Jesus!”, “the joy of the Lord will be your strength”!!

Sometimes I think I don’t even really have the Holy Spirit in me cos why do I still have these sinful and negative thoughts? Why do they come even when I don’t intentionally want to? It’s like a constant battle in my mind of what I want to think and what I really feel!

Lord please help me, physically I am really feeling weak, and mentally I am in a struggle and battle with what I am feeling. I want to focus on You Jesus, this is all about You. It is more about You. I want to be closer to You and I don’t want to feel hungry for food. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

January 7, 2015

Day 3 : Honor God with your wealth. #prayerandfasting2015

Day 3 and the start of just water fast.

Kept reiterating what I read in “The Mystery of the Empty Stomach” and reminding myself to focus on Jesus and to devote and place my desire on Him and not focusing on what I am depriving myself of.

Sure isn’t easy. I mean, if I didn’t have to work, and could just stay home all day and just fully focus on reading God’s word, perhaps I wouldn’t feel thw hunger pangs that much. But when your stomach growls and people beside you in the office can hear it, it can get kinda embarrassing.

Jesus, I want to live for You. I want to be devoted to You. I want to desire You the way that pleases You. I want to be faithful and be still and wait on You. Help me Lord, strengthen me in my spirit and not let the temptations of my flesh overcome me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!

January 6, 2015

Day 2 Fasting. #prayerandfasting2015


Honoring God with our Worship.

Liquid fast day 2. I’ll have to admit, I don’t really look forward to the next 3 days of just water fast. I know how weak I get, but Lord, Your word says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So I am counting on You Jesus, Your strength and not my own, to push through and endure the next 3 days.

In Jesus’ name, Amen!

January 5, 2015

Day 1 Fasting. #prayerandfasting2015



First day of the annual corporate fasting here in Victory Philippines! I have decided to have two days of liquid fast and then water fast for the rest of the week.

Day 1 is about Honoring God’s name. And how we should watch the words that comes out of our mouth and whether the things that we say is pleasing or honoring God.

Definitely one of the hardest things to do to watch our words and be careful to always say the right things. Sometimes I get caught up pouring my heart out to non believing friends and forget that these words could contradict the very things we live and stand for.

Lord, help me to be careful with my words, to stop gossiping, and pessimistic words. Let Your holy spirit lead me to say the right words, loving, kind and gracious words to your people.. In Jesus name, Amen!

July 18, 2014

RIP MH17. 😞 #tragedy

another sad news for malaysian
-Az (12:33am)

Thats how I got news of the tragedy of the Amsterdam-KL Malaysian Airlines plane that was shot down by military missiles from the ground. Woke up at about 3:30am and saw that message in whatsapp and thought, wow, speechless. I could only sigh deeply and slowly shake my head.

My first thoughts were of the PM. How horrible this news must be for him on his terms. First the MH370 and now this. I wouldn’t trade places with him for the world! I feel very sorry for the man.

When I got to the office, seems that the news was already all over the web. My Pinoy colleague even asked me if I heard of it. And I told Irah (my fellow Malaysian colleague) about it as soon as she got in the office too.

Its a sad news indeed. And it was speculated that because of the on going war between Russia and Ukraine, it was possible that the plane was shot down by mistake. 😓

Dear Lord, Your words says blessed are those who mourn. I pray for the families of the plane crash victims, may You help them through this tough, devastating and trying times, and give them the strength to carry this burden.

I also pray for Malaysia, Lord may You continue to give us hope. That though we as a nation go through waves and waves of storms, You will not abandon nor forsake us God. Have mercy on Malaysia, Lord. Deliver this nation from this situation, help us to be stronger.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

April 2, 2014

Laments of my soul.


My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and they come to an end without hope. Remember, O God, that my life is but a breath; my eyes will never see happiness again. (Job 7:6, 7 NIV)


…“My splendor is GONE and all that I had hoped from the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:18 NIV)


It’s been a very melancholic day for me today. I reckon its my hormones messing up my emotions and making me feel so sad and depressed. Aside from having many troubled thoughts on so many things going on and happening at the same time in life right now.  While praying alone this morning before work started, I was almost speechless, and just let tears flow and cried out to God. Images of throwing myself off the building came flooding into my thoughts. It didn’t help that I was in so much lack of sleep. Was blogging away last night and panicking and trying to fix my messed up camera but mostly ended up sleeping late because I had to wait for someone else who was hogging the shower.

So the troubles didn’t just stop at the camera. This morning I got a text from my lawyer Margy telling me that they needed another 3K to process my papers and for stationary expenses. So all in all, from my last payment up until now, I spent a total of 10K just to pursue this case. I’m not complaining per se, I mean, I don’t have to pay for most of the cost already so I’m already blessed. But hearing what the other lawyer thought about the judge that is about to handle my case, I feel quite discouraged. Furthermore, with the speed of how things are going around my appeal now, it may take another full year before a decision will be made.

A FULL year!!! I was kind of expecting sometime in September this year I’d be able to completely lift this burden off from my life regardless the outcome but now, A FULL YEAR??!! AND A LOW CHANCE TOO, MIND YOU??!!!

Lord, o Lord~ Why do I feel so deserted right now?

Read a chapter of the book “It’s OK to be NOT OK” by Rico G. Villanueva today, and at the end of the chapter, there were some points to ponder on and the writer encouraged us readers to say a prayer to express our hearts to God the way Psalm 42/43 is patterned. Here’s what I came up with.

Lord Jesus, heavenly Father..
I really need You right now.. I have been feeling downcast for the past few days. More than I have been for the past 2 months.
Ever since Birdie told me about the condo issue, I even had dreams about it. Thats how much this has bothered me. Its always at the back of my head no matter how much I try to convince myself that You will take care of it, that You will provide. But the more I search for condos online and the more I look and find nothing, it seems to me that I have been knocking and asking but didn’t receive any answer at all.

Lord I can’t do this without You. I can’t do this life without Your help, without Your favor, without Your blessing. In fact this morning, just looking out from the window, I had images in my head about throwing myself out the window. Its suicidal! All because I can’t find a better place to move into? All because I don’t have the finances to get myself out of this place? All because I feel so rejected and unloved by sinners/people who have a limited capacity to love??

Please rescue me Lord. Come quickly to save Your daughter. My heart is failing within me because troubles are surrounding me. I have to think of the pending court case, traveling expenses this coming June, how to pay my insurance bills, giving allowances to my mom, paying for the legal fees, looking for a better place or condo to move into, the money to move out, the money /finances to go to Canada… Etc etc..

I’m getting tired Lord Jesus. I’m getting weaker and weaker. I’m starting to feel like I’m losing hope. Yet to whom do I turn to if not to You? Theres no turning back now. I don’t want to live my past life. It has no meaning. Now that I want to follow You and the path You have planned for me, I find myself getting lost and confused! I don’t know what to do?!!

I just ended there. Cos thats exactly what I felt. I have NO CLUE. what. to. do.

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