Archive for September, 2006

September 30, 2006

29.09.2006 : It was a looong dream..

Bear with me people.. I tend to have really detailed, loooong dreams.. Its good to jot them down for memories sake..
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I had the saddest dream last night…

i can’t recall the whole ordeal.. but i remember,

i was in sort of like a kampung, lots of people around me, it seemed like a kind of farm.. and there was this lorry.. full of dark, muddy, dirty, naked, girls with long hair.. and you can’t imagine what they did to the girls..

it was like a party, i dont really know wat was really going on.. i remember that the men around there would take one of the girls from the lorry and then push them into a big pool of mud and inside it were PIGS!!! Talk about being in a pigsty..

I remember there was this guy, sort of looked like chinese, he talked to me, but i couldnt understand what he was saying. It sounded like he was speaking Japanese, and i told him “I don’t understand what you’re saying..” and then he spoke in Mandarin but I can’t seem to remember what was it that he had told me. Anyway, it was a noisy atmosphere.. almost like it was a market, with lots of people and the girls with the pigs are like a show or something. Cos when they push one girl into the pool of mud, the crowd seemed to cheer, even the girls in the lorry were cheering like it was some sort of party!

Well, after that, I only remember going into one of the coffee shops, and then this part was rather blurry.. but in the dream, it seemed like i was running away from someone (not running away in a scared way, but more like an avoiding way) .. and i was just hiding out there.. and then suddenly from the window, two guys were in a car, and I somehow knew they were friends of the person I was running away from.

And then.. mm.. this is where it all goes blurry already. But, I remember, the guy i was running away from, found me (through his friend’s information of course). And he was persuading me to go home with him, telling me that he came to bring me home. At first I was reluctant, in the dream it felt like I didnt want to have anything else to do with this guy.. but then I thought, ok fine, I need a ride home anyway, so I got into the car.

This I remember very clearly. I remember at one point during the ride, i thought to myself in the dream, “I wanna have a go at driving this car.” and, in my dream that time, I was in KL. Anyway, I didnt manage to actually drive the car because suddenly, the guy was driving so fast and I was panicking.. and the weirdest thing was, the road suddenly became a roller coaster track!! And like a winding and turning road, i felt like i was falling because he was driving so fast and the road was so small!

And yes, the worst thing had happened.. the car fell like it really fell from a roller coaster.. the car was turned upside down, with both me and d guy still in the car..the impact from that fall, i remember in the dream, during that moment as the car overturned, i thought to myself.. i’m in a car accident, i’m falling.. and then when it crashed, car hood facing the ground, the impact of it, even in the dream itself i felt, i’m gonna die.. my head really hurt there.. i thought i was gonna faint and die but even i can’t imagine how strong willed i was in the dream to stay alive! In the dream i said to myself ,“no, wake up, don’t die yet!”

so i really did woke up, i could even see people outside from the car, we landed on a construction site, there were a group of men a few meters away from the car, it seemed like they didnt even notice the car. So I woke up, shook the guy next to me, and he got out of the car first, while I was still looking for my bag in the car!! The dramatic part of this is, the car was gonna topple over and hit a big metal container if both of us didnt get out of the car in time! I found it funny that even at that threatening moment, i could still recall what are the things in my bag that I had to take, wallet, keys, handphone.. and even my little black book!!

And just as i finish grabbing all my things, i saw the car toppling over and the container somehow crashed it.. i dont know how that happened lah.

Anyway, next thing i remember was being in a hospital lift.. going for a check up.. i think we just needed to have a check whether our head hit something or have any blood clot or something like that.. the guy’s parents were there at the waiting room.. he was with them.. and I remember that this was the sad part.. i was alone.. i was feeling pain.. and i felt envious that the other guy wasnt alone.. i remember looking out the window.. it looked like it was in the evening.. i started browsing through my phonebook. I remember calling Wuts, and could u believe wat he said in the dream? “Nah, tulah, go to KL, got into trouble and shit.. blah blah blah..” He was making me feel worse. I tried calling Christene, thinking, she’s in KL, she can come see me, but when I called her, I couldnt get through her phone. I even thought of calling Kah Lun and Diong thinking cos they’re both in KL, dont know why i didnt call Kah Lun, but i thought i didnt want to call Diong cos I remember him telling me once, “yalah, u got trouble then find me wan..”. So, forget it.

In my mind I was thinking, should I call Allen? What could he do? He’s too far away in Aussie, he can’t come to me.. and at that moment.. i felt pain.. not the head, but my heart.. i felt so sad and alone and in pain.. i started crying…

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September 27, 2006

27 September 2006: Paycheck.

I got my salary today.. i thought it was spose to brighten my day but unfortunately, it went to the other extreme of continuum..

I was disappointed, I was expecting to get a lil higher than that amount, not a lot, maybe just 50 bucks more but man, i really didnt realise that the employee fund takes out so much from me..

Anyway, what angst me most, was that I was trying to get sympathy and consolation from my mother and what do I get?? A fucking slam back at my face telling me that “you can’t fucking support your own mother.”

So as I’ve told Chris before, my current mood: demotivated, angry, worried, jealous, and lastly, i feel like jumping off a building..

September 18, 2006

Case of the Ex.

Nothing major laaa.. Just thought of the title as 1 of the “ex” songs in the music industry.

Anyhow, yupp, my best friend always seems to have “jodoh”(fate) with my ex W. She told me she saw him in the club the other day with a girlfriend now.. oh okaayy..

Of course, how small is kk.. The girl happens to be the colleague of my best fren’s fren. So managed to get the scoop.

Apparent they met through the girlfriend’s friend. And they’ve only started dating just recently. Though I don’t know what makes her say that W really “sayang” (love) her lah. Seems that when W and his girl left the club in a hurry that night that my best fren saw them was bcos W wasnt having a good time. I understand, he’s a good guy really, not a big clubber type. So understandably, he doesnt want to have his girl in such a “messy” environment.

Well, I don’t think me and him would’ve gotten back together anyways.. its just too weird now. We’ve both grown up. I’ll admit he’ll always have that special place tucked inside my heart but its no more than that..

Besides, with my ass as big as it is now, i’m just so ashamed to see him. Don’t want him to go “phew~! i’m glad i left her a long time ago!!”

i want him to regret having to dump me. Everyone of my ex, I want them to miss me. HAHAHA…

September 16, 2006

16 September 2006

Justin Timberlake – “My Love”

This song is currently what I can’t get bored of listening to yet. Heard it on the radio and just loved the melody, a lil something different. Anyhow, I still wish I could dance like he does.. :-p

September 11, 2006

My Japanese name.. konon Part III

Then again, Part II sounded like “Suda Kawin” in Malay. Which translated to english it means, “married already”.

So here’s another one which I like best. I used “Pauline Pamela” instead.

Your Japanese Name Is…

Aiko Saito
September 11, 2006

My Japanese name.. konon Part II

I didnt like my first Jap name post. It sounds like the eel, UNAGI.

So decided to use Papams as my original name and walah~!

Your Japanese Name Is…

Sada Kaoin
September 11, 2006

My Japanese name.. konon

<span face=”Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif” style=’color:black; font-size: 14pt;’>Your Japanese Name Is…

Usagi Asukai