Archive for December, 2005

December 17, 2005

fuck this shit

its 10.30pm and i havent heard from mr. m chong. my mobile rang, it was my man. asked me whether i’d like to go out. fuck yea. i needed it.

i told him he gotta come now or i’ll change my mind. he called back, another excuse why he couldnt come right away, his fucking aunty fuckin blocked his car and shit.

i just blew. i said fuck it. i dont want it no more.

December 17, 2005

am waiting for Mr. MChong

got all dressed up with make-up and shit. and now waiting for him in the house. its raining outside, its empty in my stomach.. grr.. hungry..

i knew this was gonna happen. with his record, he’s never been on time for anything. shit. at least consider that he’s making a girl wait. a hungry one at that. fuck.

the whole day i spent looking for people to keep me occupied and none could come to my rescue on time. i could just die.

i really need some depressant pills to lift the burden. am feeling a lil over the edge. anytime now, i’ll fall..

December 17, 2005

An Apology

i took the effort to apologize the other day.. gave him an apology card and shit. i thought he might be touched and ease up our friction a bit.

but nope.

that effort was nothing to him. so i guess i should just leave him be..

let him take me when he needs me, and put me aside when he’s got his hands full with other more important things..

i’m just a dummy anyways..

December 17, 2005

its happening again..

yesterday.. i thought i had control of myself.

i thought i got the hang of it, no more clinginess.
in the end, i’m still the loser…

i am one real sucker when it comes to relationships. personally, i really think me and my man are actually not very compatible with each other. i try to compromise, but its not easy..

u know how friction causes erosion? thats wats happenin.. its only a matter of time that i lose my passion and i may not have that ‘love’ feeling anymore..

December 15, 2005

EXAMS ARE OVER.. SO LONG SEMESTER1

just realised I havent been writing for the past 2 weeks! well, been really busy with life actually, studying for exam as well as catching up with my man after quitting from my work.

within the 2 weeks, so many things have happened. Arguments were fought, flight and trip were canceled. New news from my brother and “changes” will occur soon.

I dont know where life will take me again in the year 2006. For now, I just want to enjoy the freedom away from uni obligations… and to celebrate the first step in my journey to a degree..

December 2, 2005

December 01, 2005

Pay day at Breadstory!!!!

Plans for the day: To go to the state library and do some serious studying and then lunch with my man, and evening, shopping with Q.

Plans didnt go as expected but I guess it turned out alright in the end.

I slept in and only got to the library at 11.30, went to meet up with my man at 12.30 but ended up waiting for him for about an hour. Was about to throw a tantrum, but I just thought I didnt wanna put myself to that level again. So I was patient, instead, tapau lunch for him and went to his office. Turns out he was in the big boss’s office doing some serious discussion 1 on 1. Feels good to see my man at work!

Good thing he was able to get extension for lunch so he took me out anyways. Went to KFC for my lunch and he ate the lunch I bought for him. Consoled him about his family matters cos his aunt called me up and told me he threw some pretty shitty temper at home.

But he was nice to listen to me and settled his anger I think. I got busy after lunch. Taking the bus up to my mom’s office. Then drove home, took a short nap, showered, and out to pick mom up again.

After dropping mom home, head to Damai to pick Q up forour shopping date. Shopping with her was a good time. I gave a lot of input to her choice of clothes and its nice that she listens.

She spent a LOT today. gosh.. money is really never enough!!

Amazingly, she managed to get everything she planned to get on this short less than 4 hours shopping spree. Her full set of attire, shoes, bag, paid her bills, glasses, contacts, film, the whole lot!!! I never manage to get everything I want at 1 go.

After the shopping, she treat me to a dinner of BAH KUT TEH!! the famous one in KK lagi tu!!

Tapau some for my man cos was gonna meet him up after dropping Q home at around 10pm.

Got to my man’s house, straight on to work on his dad’s slide presentations. I was determined to get it done there and then so his family would get off his back now. So it took me up till 4am, from say, midnight.

I just got home. goin to bed loh..

December 1, 2005

The Silent War

Just got an sms from my man this morning. I can’t believe what I read.

His aunt is taking away the car from him. So right now he wouldnt have the car to drive out to meet me and shit like that.

I dont know what else to think. Fine. All my best, I’ll try to get my mom’s car to use to go to him instead. But I dont know what would that imply to the family. Should I fight on, or should I take the hint that they dont want me in their lives????

My man says he’s fighting it.. I’m thinking, how much can he fight???

I fight my family all the time.. Cos i dont owe them shit. But my man owes his big time…



December 1, 2005

Breadstory: The Last Night

My last night at breadstory. Had quite a hart-to-hart session with my colleague D. He thinks maturely I guess.

I kinda miss the work really, people actually. I find them easy to get along with, nice to chat with, and they have the same level as I am. Not the fucking rich people who looks down on ur asses. They understand how it feels to be “down here”.

Took lotsa photos.. I was nice to customers. Except one of course. This Malay family that were rude to us regarding the “Halal” shit. Fuck man, the fucking shop is not ours. You wanna complain, fucking talk to the manager!!!

“You should put halal sign and not just put ‘HAM & Cheese’. Its very sensitive for us you know!”

FUCK THAT SENSITIVE SHIT!!! YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY RACE LIVING IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY!!! YOU MAKE THE DECISION FOR YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!! IF YOU DONT SEE A FUCKING ‘HALAL’ SIGN, DONT FUCKING BUY FROM IT!!!!! THEY’RE LOTSA OTHER RACES THAT CAN BE THE FUCKING SHOP’S CUSTOMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to my last day..

I miss the people that I have come to know better, like Q, D, and Cas. They make my work a better place..