Archive for May, 2005

May 3, 2005

May 03, 2005

only less than 2 weeks more here.. missing allen already

“i’m only a man cause you’re my woman.” sweet, whoever thought of that line first.

a part of me wishes i’m back home now, discussing my future with my aunty and settling stuff so that i know what lies ahead of my life now. the other part of me however, just wants to live this way and runaway from all this shit that i have to think through..

i’m still lost, maybe not as lost as before.. my soul has now calmed, and i find landmarks here and there, but still finding my way.. though still lost..

thinking about going home.. it sickens me when i thought about how i would have obligations from the church and my family. i just want to live my own life, but i know thats not what they think i should do. my spirit is torn, i know whats right and whats wrong.. yet the wrong seems so less complicated..

had a horrible dream.. and yes, i was obligated to sing for the church (or not church, but it seemed like a church in the dream), hated the feeling, having to do something that i wasnt sincere with… i remember seeing uncle BH’s face. damn.