Archive for April, 2005

April 22, 2005


spiritually weak..

dont wanna go home..wanna run away..

yet reality kicks in.. i look at my friends.. they’re doin ok.. they dont give a fuck.. they’re still ok.. my conscience kills my soul..

feeling useless.. wish i was smarter.. wish i could live up to standards.. wish i was RICHER.. doesnt everyone?

i need space.. i need to work things out.. dont want my friends to see me in this state.. i’m really negative right now.. need to get back on track.. to be able to hide my weakness better.. not like this.. not now.. not yet..

April 16, 2005


I’m lost..

the best way to describe me now..

no other words..

April 7, 2005


My heart is as dark as the soil sodden with winter rains.

(Lord, brighten my heart)
My soul is as heavy as the peat freshly dug from the bog.
(Lord, lighten my soul)
My thoughts swirl like willow branches caught in autumn winds.
(Lord, still my thoughts)
My body as tense as a cat’s as it stalks its prey.
(Lord relax my body)
April 1, 2005

april fool people..

i only have a day left…

been having great relaxing time here..gonna hav to go through hell in the train on sunday.. sheesh