31.July.2006 : All Stressed Out

Last night had a small celebration for Ashley’s 2 years old birthday. Was really simple, with Pizzas and Chocolate Moist cake.

My sister was there too. I didn’t avoid her, just the topic that she likes to bring up. I can’t do much now cos I’ve only got 300 left. And I’m all stressed out on finding a job and all that.. Between my studies and money..

These days just have so much “messiness” in my head. I could probably go nuts and suicidal.. I know if I go to Al, I’d hear things like, “this just makes you stronger” and I do know that.. But its going through it that is still hard.

Having my mother around to remind me of the problem is not helping as well. She’s being so naive.. And it annoys me so much when I hear her talk about her business shit. I am so not a believer of whatever crap my mom has to sell. She’s not even committed! She does Gano for awhile, then complains about it, then does something else again! There’s no way I can trust her…
She just isn’t credible enough..

My final paper is tomorrow, and I was suppose to go for a second interview cum orientation for the post of event coordinator but I just don’t think its worth taking away my uni sessions for that…

I’ll try another simple admin assistant post, and I’d still want to go with the tuition thingy to give it another shot but i would need to come up with a better coaxing plan..

25.07.2006 : Its been awhile..

Its been weeks since I last blogged angrily..

So much had happened, Allen was back and gone in just a blink of an eye.. had such a busy schedule when he was around, between clubbing and friends and family outings.. he even had a big drama with the aunty during his last week in kk.. but its all good now lah..

After he had left, I’m all alone and depressed again. With bills and shit to pay for, having my mother nagging at my back constantly.. between studying and desperate for job to get money to pay for bills.. it was just getting on my nerves..

I just got back last night from having spent 3 nights at Amie’s. I felt I had a really good time despite not doing much except having my eyes stuck on the computer most times! Was playing The Sims!! Other than that, spending time with Amie out eating and watching dvds at home.. simple stuff but it felt damn refreshing to be away from all the shit at home..

It was Friday night when I decided to stay over at Amie’s. We went for Bah Kut Teh dinner at Iramanis Kolombong together with Ben and his cousin. Right after just head back to her house and I’ve already started playing sims until 9am the next morning!

Woke up around 2pm, Saturday. Amie cooked our sposed “breakfast”. And just watched tv and hang out till 6, we went down to kk to drop ben off to golf, then me and Amie just hang out at my place till about 8.30pm, and then off to dinner at Salim Lintas with Ben’s golf buddies, cousins lah. Then back to Spaggar to get ready for the club. When we finally got dressed and make-up and shit, it was already midnight. Got to the club, its was damn packed, didnt get to dance much, I was having just plain iced water.. didnt wanna spend on booze. And I can’t believe I got hit on by a drunk swedish ass. Shit. It was not good man!!

Anyways, after the club, went for supper at Foh Sang, got back to Amie’s at around 3.30am, and I head to bed early cos I had to wake up for church the next morning. So Sunday morning, Ben dropped me off to church while he went for breakfast with his cousin. Then came by to pick me up at 12.30, head back to Amie’s, and then me and Amie head down town without Ben for lunch, and a lil shopping. Got back at Amie’s around 4.30pm, watched “Last Holiday” and “Match Point” dvd which we just bought. After the movie, I started playing sims again while ben and amie went to pick Kim up from the airport. So Sims it was till 6 am, Monday morning.

Slept for a bit, woke up at 11 am, caught the final announcement for Ms. Universe, and then played Sims again for the rest of the day. Up until evening, when Amie went off to Belly Dancing class, I get to watch it too, and then supper yam cha again with her ex-colleagues, and finally home at midnight!!